Wednesday, April 30, 2014

better with age

So, yesterday I turned 40. I often joked about how "old" I was turning. But in actuality, I feel really good about it.   I've always felt that it isn't the age you are, but if you are where you thought you would be at "said age" in life that can affect your feelings toward turning another year older. I have had some years where I have experienced some frustration on where life had gone off course from my "plan", but here I am turning forty and it all balanced out.  I am right where I had hoped to be in life.  Funny enough, as a young girl, this is the phase in life I always daydreamed of when I thought of getting older. Being a wife and stay at home mom is what I always envisioned my life being. And while I was daydreaming, I'd be living in the south too. :) Funny how things work out.  Sure, I became a mom far later than I had intended, but I think it's worked out even better this way.

{this picture from the fall pretty much sums up for ya the kind of personalities I'm dealing with}

I never long for my younger years, well maybe my effortless figure of my early twenties, lol. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and have such clarity on what I want in life now. I am where I want to be. I am ridiculously in love, have two amazing little boys, and we are settling into our life and home here in Georgia for the long haul. It feels good, really good. There is just a sense of peace about not having to chase those big dreams anymore.
Society seems to be embracing aging gracefully and as they say, 40 is the new 30! When you become more secure in yourself, maybe the physical aging is much more embraced to show a life well lived. Some of the most beautiful women I have met are middle aged and beyond and they just know how to take care of themselves. I feel fortunate to be able to celebrate the years.  I think I have inherited really good genes, but I do take care great care of my skin, always have and maybe that is paying off. For years now, i have tried to limit sun exposure, wear sunscreen and have finally found really good self tanners so I don't blind anyone with those white, white legs!
As with any birthday, this is the time I take to reflect on myself and see what personal goals i want to achieve. I have some things floating around inside my head. This past year was rough. I have never felt so stressed/overwhelmed for so long. Alot of it was circumstances-up and moving while just coming out of a new baby fog and it all kind of downward spiraled from there. The fact that I just haven't had the mental energy to do much decorating tells me something. One, it could be that I have other priorities {which is not a bad thing} and two, I haven't been making any time for me to do things that I wholeheartedly enjoy, even at a slow pace since my family is always my first priority. I find myself very happy when I am creating or working on a project. But, this year, it felt like another to-do added to the overflowing list already. So inadvertently, I did nothing. And it felt good to take a break. It was needed. I have come to realize, that I must make some changes to get me back on track, to lighten my load. Jeff has been encouraging me forever to do so, but I can be so darn stubborn, thinking I can do it all, not spend the $$, etc. I have a zillion reasons to not to, but one really great reason to do it-my sanity. And when mama's happy, everyone's happy. So, with summer vacation right around the corner {only 2 1/2 more weeks here, whoopee} I want to maximize my time with the boys so first goal of turning 40. check.

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